The Opposite Locker - European Muscle

"Tim (Fractal Footwork)" (fractalfootwork)
07/19/2015 at 15:22 • Filed to: The Opposite Locker, Jaguar F-Type, Porsche 911, BMW M4

This is The Opposite Locker where we try and sort out the cool from the square. This is a discussion system detailing how cool a car is, not how fast, fun, or frivolous it may be, but how well it looks in the cat’s pajamas. But, you may be asking, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Please utilize the Anna Kendrick Test when discussing why a particular car is cool or uncool, and ask yourself, “would Steve McQueen be caught dead driving this car down the Pacific Coast Highway?” (Basically, it should be bad on track and great on a road).

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Locker Space

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

New Kids on the Block

Jaguar F-Type

Jaguar aimed the F-Type directly at the 911, boldly shouting at it with looks and exhaust tone. Is the F-Type too brash, or does it’s bodacious bottom overcome the apologies for it’s flatulence?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Porsche 911 (991)

Boring or timeless? While you don’t have to explain a 911, what has the 991 brought us if not the same old stuff? (Explaining what’s new won’t get you anywhere...) On the other hand, is the lack of revolution a bad thing?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

BMW M4 (F82)

The M4 ditched the heritage M3 name in favor of an understandable naming convention. Also, the normally aspirated burble is gone in favor of some turbos and synthetic soliloquy

And boy, is that bodywork busy!

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Sorry it’s been a while kids. What would you like to see on the block next? Taking requests, though try and make it a theme: American Muscle, German Luxury, Brightly-Colored Econoboxes (or something more interesting).

High School never ends...

DISCUSSION (8)

AthomSfere > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
07/19/2015 at 15:28

You gotta be a square to call anything Fly as Hell , ya dig?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
07/19/2015 at 17:54

I love that you used my quote for the WRX - ha!

BoxerFanatic, troublesome iconoclast. > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
07/19/2015 at 18:22

It is unfortunate that Genesis Coupe is seen as square.

It should be a great mix between BRZ/FRSs merely adequate power, and close quarters, but light weight.... and Mustang’s muscle, size, and power.

But Steve McQueen would laugh as he walked by it, not drive it down the PCH.

Jaguar F-type goes from cool to bad-ass depending on color, option package, and equipment.

Porsche 911 is great, but almost too good, and slightly less than bold, aesthetically.

BMW M4 is beyond it’s scope. M3 used to be the working professional’s treat for themselves. BMWs have become status symbols of wealth, not driving machines, and most BMWs have become inexplicably dense. Way too heavy for their physical size, and very expensive. Piping in engine noise through the audio system tells you everything you need to know about modern BMW cars.

It is unfortunate that Subaru, Hyundai, and many others, don’t seem to understand that performance cars need more of a claim to fame, and a cool, well-designed aesthetic, not just merely adequate, in either the aesthetic department, or the power department, in various respective cases.

And everybody needs to realize that cars need to be a better value proposition than EVER before, considering the rising costs and stagnant wages, and high unemployment rate in the economy... cars have to sell themselves harder, do more, and last longer, and many not sell in such high numbers, but still have a business case to be offered in the first place, if executed properly.

Finishing quality and luxury materials may cost money, but stamping, molding, and forming *UGLY* into metal, glass, and plastic costs just as much as forming beautiful into those same materials for any given car. There is little excuse for how some cars miss their aesthetic mark.

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
07/19/2015 at 18:38

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/thanks-for-usi…

Same comment as last time, lol. I’m going to keep the good quotes on every post from now on.

AthomSfere > BoxerFanatic, troublesome iconoclast.
07/19/2015 at 19:00

Dear random guy on the internet, you stated your case clearly and concisely. I have weighed your words and I agree with you.

You sir, have broken the internet. Have a good day.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
07/19/2015 at 23:00

Oh man... Shows you how good my memory is...

ihm96 > AthomSfere
07/19/2015 at 23:05

Only a square would end a sentence with “ya dig”

AthomSfere > ihm96
07/19/2015 at 23:29

Hey man, if you aren’t catchin’ what I’m throwin’ down then you can go right back to squaresVille, population you. Ya dig?